Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Come on Ike.....let's do this

So I'm told and so the story goes that Texas may be where we (Heath and I) get to work, but there is a chance we'll be working in Louisiana.

I'm ready to get out of this place anyways, don't know why, just got tired of it really quickly.

Everybody asks me how she's doing
has she really lost her mind
Everybody asks me how she's doing
Since she went away
I said I couldn't tell you I'm OK
I'm OK

Friday, August 22, 2008

It's Rockport and you've got some Rosa's

I got a much appreciated visit from T-rock (and it don't stop) last week. I don't see him or Darrell near as much as I'd like, but the beautiful thing is that when we see each other it's like it always has been. It's awesome. These two men probably don't understand how important they are to me. So all joking aside you guys help me remember how life should be when things aren't rolling just how I want them too. I don't really know how to explain it, but hangin' with you two is kind of like...well, maybe you'll understand this. It's like going to bed here tired, dirty, and sick, but when I wake up there's a breeze blowing in from the window, the bed sheets feel clean, white, and cold. I sit up and feel clean too, like I just got out of the shower. It's quiet, except for some birds, and the sound of the breeze with a faint slush of water. There's fresh coffee on the nightstand. I roll out of bed and my muscles are loose like I just had the best stretch of my life.....grabbing the coffee I walk slowly out into a familiar place. Sliding the door back I step out onto the balcony.....it's Rockport and you've got some Rosa's.

Been kayaking twice since my last post. Nice. I need to get my camera fixed so I can post pictures.

Also had a great game of disc golf yesterday.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sometimes it's really hard to be an optimist........

Traveling again
I know exactly how it's gonna end
The routine day dream starts as I get off

I'm holding up the queue
because my ticket won't go through
I know it should be simple but it's not

Something's gotta change
I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways
So why do I want more than what I have

Brace myself to hear the lies
I wonder if they know that I
Don't get the jokes but I just need to laugh

So don't take my photograph
Cause' I don't want to know how it looks to feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow

Sometimes driving alone late at night a song hits you right where your at, it's hard to do anything but hit repeat until you have to go to sleep.

Monday, July 21, 2008

"Show me a day with Hilda Ogden and I'll despair"

Heath and I were in a Barnes and Noble in Topeka, Kansas, and I had a few minutes to kill while he finished up a claim he was working on. I decided to take a stroll around the bookstore, and ended up in the bargain books section. As I glanced around the stacks, one book caught my eye. Its title..... "The Raw Shark Texts" by Steven Hall. The reason it caught my eye was simply that the word "Shark" was in the title. I'm always drawn to books with any reference to aquatic life in the title (especially if it's sharks), or a blue color scheme on the cover. So I picked it up and read the teaser on the back. Suprisingly, good, and at $5.98 I figured worth the risk. I bought it.

Some three or so weeks later I've finished reading the book, and enjoyed it very much. Truth be told, however, I'm not perfectly clear on some essential plot points in the story. As I sat in bed last night after turning the last page I tried to go back over the series of events in my head to understand exactly what had happened to the protagonist Eric Sanderson. I was unable to make sense of it. I thought I might be able to find some sort of online Cliff's Notes or something that might explain an idea that I missed, and provide some clarity to the author's purpose, but..... I began to wonder. Do I really want to know exactly what this story represented to Steven Hall so that I completely understand his intention with the events, or would I rather just allow myself to interpret the events in my own mind and settle on what the novel means to me. Would I like the "truth" spelled out for me so that I am clear on one persons idea, or do I want to navigate my way around the events and experiences to create my own understanding.

The Musician Seal offers his thoughts on the insert of his self titled CD. He says One of the most popular questions people seem to ask is "Why don't you print your lyrics on the album?" Well, the answer to that is that quite often, my songs mean one thing to me and another to the listener. But that's OK because I think it's the general vibe of what I'm saying that is important and not the exact literal translation. How many times have you fallen in love with a lyric that you thought went, "Show me a day with Hilda Ogden and I'll despair", only to find that it went "Show me a way to solve your problems and I'll be there". I guess what I'm saying is that the song is always larger in the listeners mind because with it they attach imagery which is relative to their own personal experience. So it is your perception of what I'm saying rather than what I actually say that is the key.

This thought process applies to different aspects of life in different ways, but I like the idea of what Seal has to say.

It gives me this sense of how I would like to approach life. Let go of control a little bit, get away from the need to have "it" spelled out and allow the current to take me. It's likely to flow to a place that is deeper and more meaningful than the one on the map.

Steven Hall, thanks for the read, I'll be passing on those Cliff's Notes.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Good Luck Exploring the Infinite Abyss......I'll miss you

Well, the day has come and gone. I knew it would happen, prayed that it wouldn't, and now it's over.

The most tenured disc in my disc golf bag is gone. My magic blue-gator disc has flown into the abyss never to return. It can no longer deliver me the beautiful sound of the chain of a disc golf basket; no longer be the reason for a "Gee whiz I can't believe I just made that shot" celebration dance; no loner bring me joy. Except in memory. I'll not forget you my friend, thanks for being so good to me. We both know the good shots were all you.

I saw it coming as I released. I had the wrong trajectory. I could only watch as it disappeared over the cedar trees and towards the lake......I ran like crazy trying to see where it would land, but it was just too far....it just kept going. Maybe some lucky disc golfer will someday find its resting place and dust off the old relic and understand just what they have found, but it is not likely. I imagine it flying, gliding, slaloming through the trees, cutting a path straight to that big disc golf basket in the sky......ready for that final, magical, collision with the chain.

I'll miss you my friend. Thanks for the memories.